Ah, Valentine's Day, a day that most men can sum up in two words -- ah, crap.

Men always fall short of the Valentine's Day expectations placed on them -- expectations that are always high -- and we end up annoying whatever woman is unlucky enough to be in our lives. This joke sums up the sentiment well:

A woman wakes from a nap. Her husband is sitting across the room.

"I had the most interesting dream," she says. "I dreamt you bought me a diamond necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"

"I think you'll find out later," said the husband, a coy look in his eye.

Later at dinner the husband gave her his gift. She opened it. It was a book titled "How to Interpret Dreams."

Believe it or not, ladies, we men have done our best to become whatever it is you think you want us to be. This is why so manhave become modern, new-age, highly-sensitive males completely self-absorbed in how we look, with hopes of attracting you. That isn't what you want, either, but here are some tips on how to woo today's modern male.

And check out  Wikipedia's take on the origin of Valentine's Day.